i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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