so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
