Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
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