U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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