Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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