he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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