Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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