Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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