THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
