the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Randomize
