"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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