i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Alive.
So much puke
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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