Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
