i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
