I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize