hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
