everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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