i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
