a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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