Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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