how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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