How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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