Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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