I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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