at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
