In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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