I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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