I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
