Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
