Soap is not a condiment
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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