i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
