Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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