I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
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Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize