U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
