these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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