It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
