Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
