There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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