Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
