East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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