FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
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It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
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He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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