dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I am available for nakedness
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
