i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
