seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You're like the curious george of whores
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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