He is such a slut. More and more my type.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
