Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
