Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
