Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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