Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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