So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
