I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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