Your mouth is God's brothel.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
