that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
