I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
