there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
