Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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