I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
