who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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