everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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