Pappa wants mamma naked
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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