I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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