Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
they need to just BURY HIM!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Randomize
